Sun, Sea and Sam (1)

Sam walked in on me applying my lipstick in the bathroom mirror and didn't even slightly notice the sexual undertones of this gesture. He was late for work, but there used to be a time

where me rolling on stocking or dabbing at my lips would have him kissing my neck and forgetting his rush. I turned to say him. ''Is today the day you ask then?'' He flinched. He hated that

I hadn't let it drop and that I follow him about our house keeping the subject fresh in his mind. Nagging, yes I think that's what men mostly call it. I think the fact that it is nagging doesn't mean I

don't have to push the issue. See, I want it, and Sam well, I am just going to have make him want it too. Maybe i could even manage to make him think it was his idea, if I really worked hard.

I understood what Sam feared about this, I truly did. Asking his boss for a raise would be nerve-racking, asking his boss for some time off would cause him great worry, but asking for

a sabbatical of a year, to ''travel about'' well that was just plain frightening. But I didn't want anything else and this plan was all consuming. At least I wasn't asking him to marry me.

I thought rationally, now that's scary even to me. Sam slopes off into the kitchen in search of evidence of hot toast and a cup of coffee like I would sometimes surprise him with, and

seeing nothing but last nights washing up, flicks on the kettle with a sigh.

Later, after hearing the door slam and after a strong cup of coffee myself, I sat down at the long kitchen table and delved into my favorite passion, planning the trip. There were so many

addictive avenues to peruse, from calculating a budget, researching work opportunities in far-flung countries, even just checking the map of the world and working out where neither of

us have ever been. The other night whilst enjoying a nice bottle of red wine, Sam and I made lists of the countries we had each been to. I was shocked and drunkenly grumpy once it was

worked out he had travelled to more places than me. I always thought of it as me the free-spirited traveller and of Sam as well, the dependable stable one. But in his twenties he hadn't

been so involved in his career and had in fact spent nearly 7 years in far flung places. Although we knew each others stories quite well, his travels were a kind of taboo topic because he

made them all with his ex wife and when relaying tales of his journeys he could never manage to miss out the fact of the part that she was with him for every experience. Or maybe it was

me that never failed to forget, either way that was sometimes a touchy subject. However, our round the world once in a life time trip together would be such a daring adventure, anything in the

past wouldn't even compare. I reflected heavily. I needed a selling point. This daring adventure had already an enormous theoretical sum attached to it, and not only did we not have next

months rent let alone the funds for the sabbatical, Sam hasn't even committed to the idea yet.

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